Thanksgiving dinner conversation…

Here we are again, gathering with family and friends for good food and to reflect on the things we’re thankful for. Of course, gathering with family also brings up the reality for many families who can’t easily talk about and share their lives and loves.

This year, I’m particularly grateful for the thousands of passionate people trying to change that reality by joining the Let California Ring campaign – many of whom are planning to have one of those important heart-to-heart conversations this Thanksgiving.

As Sam and Julia Thoron, two PFLAG parents, write:

"Our daughter, Liz, is gay and unlike her brothers, does not have the freedom to marry the love of her life. Our gratitude and our unqualified support of Liz and her partner, Lisa, are not enough to create a world in which they are free to marry. This Thanksgiving we want to give them something more. We want to have them hope and we need your help!

As you reflect on the things you’re thankful for this Thanksgiving, keep hope in your heart. The one-on-one conversations you have this holiday are one of the most powerful ways to educate people, not just about the rights and benefits of marriage, but also about the freedom.

Liz and Lisa, like so many sons and daughters and their partners across the country, want the freedom to celebrate their love and commitment with the same support, understanding, and acceptance that their brothers and sisters enjoy. Don’t they deserve this?"

I hope that you’ll consider having these important conversations at your next gathering. We’ll provide with your very own Thanksgiving kit. It includes conversation starters, turkey placemats (for the kids at your gathering) and giving thanks cards (with some prompts to talk about thanks and hope). And if you don’t already have our ring, get one and wear it as a sign of your support. We hope you’ll keep it until the day that everyone has the freedom to marry the person they love.

Thanks for reading. Best wishes to you and your family this Thanksgiving.

Geoff Kors
Executive Director

Equality California Institute

Marriage Equality USA new featured partner!

Marriage Equality USA (MEUSA) is a special part of the Let California Ring coalition. An all volunteer organization, members of MEUSA continue to push for the freedom to marry all across California.

With an exceptional presence is rural pockets of the state, MEUSA regularly works to stir up media coverage and increase visibility representing the great depth and breath of the California LGBTQI and allied community. In part because of their incredible volunteer Outreach Director leadership system, MEUSA maintains focus on often underrepresented communities and neighborhoods.

Specialized Outreach Directors are centered around: African Americans, straight allies, Asian Pacific Islanders, Bi-National families & Immigration, Children of one or more LGBTI parents, communities of faith, people with disabilities, Latino/as, LGBTI Parents, veterans and the military, Native Americans, seniors, transgender people, employment, and youth.

In addition to MEUSA’s regular series of speaking engagements and annual events,
MEUSA members, volunteer outreach directors and leaders have begun to stand side-by-side with us at Let California Ring house parties. Many MEUSA leaders are setting dates for their own Let California Ring house parties today!

Thank you Marriage Equality USA for all that you have done and continue to do on behalf of LGBT families --- all in your “free time” no less!

Vaishalee Blogs about Let California Ring Media Trainings

Last week I met a woman named Cindy at spokesperson training for Let California Ring in the San Gabriel Valley. She and her partner Stacey have created a loving home for their son, and they’re active at church. In fact, Stacey is in seminary school to become a chaplain. Next week, Cindy will be publishing a guest column for the Pasadena Weekly about what Thanksgiving means to her - a time for family and togetherness but at a time when her family still isn’t recognized. It’s an important story to tell.

But even if you never work with the media, you’re still a spokesperson when you talk to your friends, family, co-workers and neighbors about the freedom to marry and why it’s important to you. Attend a spokesperson training conducted by the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) and gain the tools to effectively tell your story, learn proven messages to open hearts and minds and practice staying on message.

Monday, Dec. 3rd: San Jose
Tuesday, Dec. 4^th: Oakland
Wednesday, Dec. 5^th: San Francisco
Thursday, Dec. 13th: San Diego
Sunday, Dec 16^th: LA
Thursday, Dec. 20^th: Santa Barbara

For details, please contact:
Vaishalee Raja
323-634-2045
raja@glaad.org
Associate Director of Media Field Strategy
GLAAD

What I'm doing this Thanksgiving

Welcome commentary by Trina Olson, Equality California Institute Field Director

Our family is coming for Thanksgiving.

To re-iterate, not just my family, our family. My mom and dad are flying in from Minnesota the day before Thanksgiving. My partner’s mom, little sister, and little sister’s fiancée are all piling into one car, leaving Arizona Wednesday after dinner, and driving all night through to get to us by Thanksgiving morning.

Did I mention that not only are 5 of our family members coming, they are all staying in our house? I think that means we get the air mattress.

Let me take this opportunity to mention that our families are amazing. That is to say, they consistently show up for us. When my partner had her second foot surgery last year, they came in shifts, taking care of her one week at a time. Whenever I move, (which feels like constantly) they are packing all of the breakables right along side me. Like I said; they show up.

This year the excitement towards Thanksgiving has been building and building. It’s always a landmark moment when, in your mid-20s, you get to host the big holiday gathering. With friends included we’re planning for 13 at the table. Hosting Thanksgiving also comes with a lot of pressure (most of it self-imposed). Will everyone like the menu? Who should we sit next to whom? How on earth do we keep food warm for 13 people using just one oven? But I have to say, despite my partner’s consternation, I like worrying about the little stuff. Because sometimes worrying about the big stuff is too hard.

This Thanksgiving will be a family gathering in every sense. Because my family and friends, well, they show up. Sitting together, with the mashed potatoes on the table and the dessert patiently waiting in the wings, I’m going to thank my family for traveling so far for so long to come be with us. Then I am going to ask our guests to show up for us one more time --- right there at the table, with a captive audience of 12, I’m going to ask them to tell everyone about how it affects them that Ember and I are not free to marry. It may not be the typical Thanksgiving blessing, but I truly believe that it is the most important step we can take together in order to eventually end up at an even bigger family gathering.

One that I have to tell you, I am even more excited to plan!

San Diego Kicks Off Their “Get Engaged by Valentine’s Day!” Campaign

It is an exciting time to be advocating for the freedom to marry in San Diego! This week the San Diego LGBT Community Center’s Marriage Equality and Education Project kicked off our “Get Engaged by Valentine’s Day!” campaign. During this campaign our goal is to have 40 Freedom to Marry Engagements by Feb. 14, 2008! These Engagements will introduce San Diegans to Let California Ring, a public education campaign that is working to create a California where two people in a committed, trusting and loving relationship deserve the recognition and respect that only comes with marriage.

This past week we had the pleasure of hosting our first kick-off in a living room that was buzzing with energy and enthusiasm about the freedom to marry. Many wonderful stories were shared over the course of the evening, including two women who had a wedding at the end of September and told us about their special day with tears in their eyes, as well as a mother who spoke passionately about how much she loved her lesbian daughter and wanted her to have an equal chance to fulfill her hopes and dreams.

It was truly a magical night and an amazing start to our campaign! I am looking forward to spending the next few months in living rooms across San Diego hearing more touching stories and connecting with people about this issue.

If you are interested in hosting or attending a San Diego Freedom to Marry Engagement, please contact Kristi Shaw, San Diego LGBT Community Center’s Marriage Equality and Education Project Coordinator at (619) 692-2077, ext. 206 or kshaw@thecentersd.org.

CJ from San Francisco watches the Ad

Our good friend CJ in San Francisco, house party host, just sent us this note about about the first time she saw the ad...

You know me. I'm your waitress during Sunday morning brunch. I sit in the second row of your math class. I'm that girl with big sunglasses reading a book while waiting for the bus. Just your average mid-twenties quasi-student living the single life in San Francisco. You know me.

But this isn't about me. It's about equality. As I trot through my daily routines and fantasize about what the future may bring, sure I wonder if I'll fall in love and get married. Or maybe I'll fall in love and not get married, but that is a choice I will make when the time comes. Because I have a choice. I'm straight.

The emotions that welled up inside of me the first time I watched the "Garden Wedding" ad left me feeling gutted. I felt sorrow, rage, and guilt. Mostly guilt. And rage.

I immediately identified with the bride, and felt for her as everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong. I winced as her heel broke and my stomach dropped when she fell to the ground. Watching her look to her groom for help only to see him held back broke my heart even more. Then, when words appear on the screen and the caption spells out that gay and lesbian couples are prevented from marrying, the concept hit me so hard, at first I was too shocked to have a reaction. As I grappled with the message of the ad, and the reality of what gays and lesbians go through when trying to get married, I became increasingly infuriated. I was outraged that so many people are not able to marry the person they love because it is illegal. I was pissed at the concept of domestic partnership because it is different from marriage, and different is NOT equal. Marriage is known throughout our culture as a higher form of commitment. Commitment to the person, the relationship and the life they promise to lead together. I can feel myself getting more enraged as I'm writing this!

Thinking about the unfairness of it all, I remember the father of the bride patting his daughter's hand just after she breaks her shoe. I have to sit back in my chair and take a deep breath. I remind myself that I can get married. It's my choice. A choice I'm legally able to make. Relief sweeps over me as I recognize that I have the choice, and then comes the guilt. Guilt because I know I have something that others do not have. And I've taken it for granted! What about the obstacles the bride had to face? The obstacles that I empathized with and got me choked me up? So she broke her heel, her hair was messed up, a door jam, and a grabby flower girl? These hindrances are so small compared to the difficulties gays and lesbians face. My guilt compounds as I recognize that I'm wearing the shoes of the "Haves" and I'm looking directly into the eyes and hearts of the "Have Nots" ... and I'm determined to fight for this issue until we all have the right to marry the one we love. So in a way, this is about me. And it's about you too. But mainly, it's about equality. This is about all of us joining together to achieve marriage equality for everyone.

"Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are." - Benjamin Franklin.

Check out this story on LGBT families.

"Same-sex couples raising children less likely to be white, wealthy."


From The San Francisco Chronicle.

Check out Let California Ring on the Huffington Post!

Evan Wolfson blogs about the campaign in "Let California Ring: Talking About Change Makes It."

"It's striking how many non-gay people have never really been invited to put themselves in another's place. Left on their own, they too often treat their view or vote on ending marriage discrimination as kind of a "freebie" that has no real-life consequences to couples, kids, and even the gay people they say they want to be fair to. Those of us who care owe it to the fair-minded people we know to ask them to get engaged."

Read the post.