Let California Ring Day of Visibility

February 14

Love. It’s what Valentine’s Day is all about.

Every day, lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Californians are denied the freedom to marry the person they love. Let California Ring is a coalition effort to open hearts and minds, engage millions of Californians in conversations about the freedom to marry, and increase support for marriage for gay and lesbian couples.

This groundbreaking campaign is educating people in a whole new way about fairness, freedom, and the principle that all people—lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and non-LGBT—should have the freedom to realize their hopes and dreams.

Let California Ring has found the perfect messenger—you! Wear your Let California Ring t-shirt or ring during Freedom to Marry week to start conversations with the people in your life about why you support the freedom to marry.

Don’t know what to say? Download handy conversation starters at http://www.LetCaliforniaRing.org/conversations

February 5 Day of Action

February 5 Day of Action

If you live in Santa Barbara or Los Angeles, here’s a great way for you to get involved with Let California Ring:

Join us at the polls on Election Day! We will be out in small groups talking to people about the freedom to marry and asking them to sign a pledge of support. Small teams will be made when you arrive – so come alone or come with friends! Polling place assignments will be given out at the training.

Santa Barbara Training

Saturday, February 2
1 p.m. to 3 p.m.

Los Angeles Training

Monday, February 4
7 p.m. to 9 p.m.

OR

Saturday, February 2

2:30 p.m. to 4:30 p.m.

*Note: all volunteers must attend one training.

Freedom to Marry Sizzles at The Flame in San Diego!

Commentary by Kristi Shaw from the San Diego LGBT Community Center.

I have never heard a nightclub so quiet.

On Saturday, January 19 the San Diego LGBT Community Center’s Marriage Equality and Education Project presented a special Freedom to Marry program during “Milk,” San Diego’s premiere lesbian night, at one of the biggest LBGT clubs in town, The Flame.

Vixen from LA-based Pin Up Girls started the night off with an upbeat performance. She was joined by local hip hop artist and rapper Miz Liberty, who regularly performs at Milk. Miz Liberty added her funky, upbeat style to the issue, performing some crowd favorites as well as a special song that captured her strong feelings about why the freedom to marry is so important.

I took the stage next and said a few words about Let California Ring and encouraged people to sign up, donate and get involved. This was followed by the Let CA Ring video showcased on all screens and over the loudspeaker.The hush that fell over the crowd was unforgettable and several people came up to me afterwards, with tears in their eyes, saying the video and its message was one of the most moving things they have ever seen.

All in all it was a hugely successful night for the freedom to marry movement down here in San Diego!

Over 100 people signed the petition and we raised a significant amount of money for Let California Ring. The visibility the campaign received was also amazing and we have similar events planned at two other nightclubs in the coming months!If this event was any indication, I think 2008 is going to be great!

- Kristi Shaw, San Diego LGBT Community Center’s Marriage Equality and Education Project Coordinator

http://www.thecentersd.org/ftm/

kshaw@thecentersd.org

We're Just Two Weeks Away

Two weeks away from the day we celebrate love - Valentine's Day - and two weeks away from the largest state-wide visibility push ever conducted for the freedom to marry.

Take the first step: add your name to our letter to Governor Schwarzenegger that has already garnered over 8,700 signatures. Ask him to tell the California Supreme Court that the current law banning marriage for lesbian and gay couples is unconstitutional and that all loving couples deserve the freedom to marry. We're delivering it on February 14th, and we want your name on it.

On our day of visibility – Valentine’s Day -- it’s also vital that we make ourselves seen. That means wearing your Let California Ring t-shirt and displaying your ring wherever it can be seen (on your finger, bag or your keychain) to prompt a conversation about what the freedom to marry means to you.

If you’ve already ordered a ring, you should get it by Valentine’s Day. Order a t-shirt at a special rate of just $20 between now and February 6th to get yours by February 14th!

Help us make Valentine’s Day a milestone to remember for the LGBT community by making yourself seen and heard today:

• Sign our open letter to Governor Schwarzenegger. Show him that you’re one of the many Californians – his constituents! – who support the freedom to marry for all people.
  


• Get a t-shirt at a special $20 rate and wear it with pride on Valentine’s Day. February 6th is your last chance to get one before the big day!
  


• Print your sign and hang it up! Download one of our “I Said It” posters and hang it in your window or cubicle (or anywhere where people are likely to see it and ask what you said!). You can also take a photo of yourself with your sign and add your face to the hundreds of others who are making their support visible in our gallery.

I hope that Valentine’s Day 2008 will be a big moment in our shared history – for LGBT people in California and people in every state. Our state will be the tipping point, and the momentum for change, the kind that has the power resonate across the country, and it starts now with you.

Thanks for reading. And I hope you’ll join us!

Sincerely,

Geoff Kors
Let California Ring

New Facebook Application!

Show your support for the freedom to marry on Facebook.

Add our ring of support to your profile and show your commitment to the freedom to marry!

We hope you’ll display our ring until the day that everyone has the freedom to marry the person they love.

Six Organizations: One Event

What issue can get key LGBT leaders from national, statewide and local organizations in one room? Marriage in California.

Over 150 people braved the rain in Los Angeles last night to get insight and raise money for Let California Ring. It was truly unprecedented to have the leading LGBT organizations in the city, state and country on one stage. It is such a crucial time in California right now and to see so much support for the campaign was inspiring.

On the stage: (l to r) Geoff Kors (Equality California Institute), Patrick Sammon (Log Cabin Republicans), Joe Solmonese (Human Rights Campaign), Matt Forman (The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force), Jody Huckaby (PFLAG), and Lorri Jean (L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center).

If Al Gore can say it...

Al Gore said he supports the freedom to marry for LGBT couples. Everyone's listening. And when you say you support the freedom to marry, people who love you listen too.

Just say it by signing our open letter to Governor Schwarzenegger at www.LetCaliforniaRing.org/justsayit and ask your friends and family to do the same.

Sign an open letter to the Governor on marriage

Opportunities like this don't come along very often.

Sign our open letter asking the Governor to tell the California Supreme Court that the current law is unconstitutional and that all loving couples deserve the freedom to marry.

With the Court expected to rule on the legal right for gay and lesbian couples to marry in 2008, right now is the time for your voice to be heard: heard by Governor Schwarzenegger by February 14.

As a defendant in the case, the Governor's voice is critical -- he can change history. That's why we want him to tell the Court that all LGBT Californians should be able to marry the person they love. But your voice can be equally powerful, so I want you to just say it too.

Just say it: "Everyone should be able to marry the person they love. I support the freedom to marry." Say it out loud, to the person next to you on the bus or at dinner. And then, ask Governor Schwarzenegger to tell the Court that the current law is unconstitutional.

Let California Ring is all about everyday people coming together to amplify their collective voice of support for the freedom to marry. For people like you and me, that starts with the most basic action: "just say it" -- to our friends, family members, and neighbors.

We need to generate conversations and get every Californian -- from Supreme Court Justices to our elected leaders to your colleagues at the water cooler -- thinking about what the freedom to marry means for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people between now and February 14 -- the day we celebrate love. So just say it, right now.

With the Court's ruling on the legal right for gay and lesbian couples to marry expected this year, showing that Californians support that basic freedom for everyone is critical right now. Here's how you can help:

• Sign the open letter to Governor Schwarzenegger

• Just say it. Tell all your friends, family members and colleagues and ask them to join you in signing the open letter to the Governor.

Now is the time to double your impact: sign the letter to the Governor and then just say it: make your support for the freedom to marry seen and heard between now and February 14.

Thanks for all that you do -- every action you take makes a difference and fills me with determination.

Sincerely,

Geoff Kors
Let California Ring

Behind the Scenes: Volunteer Night!

If you live in Los Angeles, we have an easy and fun way for you to get involved. Hannah blogs about Volunteer Nights:

We have volunteer night a couple times a week here at Let California Ring. On Monday nights we gather from 7-10pm for Data Entry Night. We crowd around the table in our conference room; you can barely see the table underneath the piles of data we are entering, pizza, and the many lap tops in use. Although we get a lot of work done at Data Entry Nights it hardly feels like work. As we type we talk about anything from what’s been going on in our lives since the Monday before to current events to our love lives. We spend a lot of time laughing. The hardest part about Data Entry Night is deciphering the handwriting of the data we are entering; we all squint at the most troublesome handwriting and everyone takes a guess at we think it says.

We also have Phone Bank Night every Thursday from 6:30 to 9:30. On Phone Bank Nights we call people who have told us they want to volunteer with us and sign them up for a specific activity. We each ding a bell when we get someone signed up for a shift, it’s a lot of fun to hear dings coming from all over the office and shout, “Way to go!!” down the hall.

Volunteer nights are what help keep things running here at Let California Ring. Without them we couldn’t get our data entered and we couldn’t sign up enough volunteers to keep building our team. I feel fortunate to get to work with so many great volunteers, and have so much fun along the way!

--Hannah, Field Organizer

"My little party attracted notice..."

When I came to a Let California Ring House Party held by student friends of mine, I knew right away that this was something I wanted to do myself. Not at my small home, where I find myself gathering mostly with other queer folks, but at my workplace—Chochmat HaLev, a progressive Jewish spiritual community in Berkeley. I love Chochmat HaLev, for its welcoming and supportive vibe as well as its ecstatic and contemplative variety of Jewish spirituality. It is a place of meeting points for me—where my identity as a queer person meets my identity as a spiritual person, and the main place (other than school) that I meet supportive straight people.

I was so surprised by the results. My little party attracted notice, not just at Chochmat HaLev, but in the Jewish and interfaith community all over the Bay Area, and even across the state and as far away as Santa Fe! Those who came were not necessarily the curious and open-minded allies I had expected to make welcome, but were strong leaders in the LGBT Jewish and interfaith communities for whom this event fit right in with the important work on LGBT equality they were already doing. We've made connections that will enable more of this work to be done not only at Chochmat but all over the state. I'm humbled to have been a part of this remarkable beginning.

Maya, Trina, and Liam from Let California Ring were a great support for me helping me organize things, plan the event, and get the word out. It was an amazing opportunity to start 2008 on a high note. I encourage anyone who is thinking about doing something for the freedom to marry to consider putting on a House Party—at your house, your office, your school, or any other place you gather. It’s the most fun way to help out, and the rewards are incredible.

I’d like to thank once again all those special people who made it out in the rain, who shared their spiritual and personal experiences, and whose actions will spread the work we are doing together farther and deeper into our communities. Thanks are due to Karen Ehrlichman from Jewish Mosaic, who couldn’t be there but who was indispensable for connecting me with the other people who pitched in, Rachel Biale, from Progressive Jewish Alliance, who added the power of PJA’s beautiful “Bringing the Orange Under the Huppah” campaign, Sasha T. Goldberg from Nehirim, who are creating an exciting spiritual retreat for LGBT Jews in March, Kerry Chaplin from California Faith for Equality, who was a great help not only with planning and publicity but with setting up and cleaning up, Steve Krantz at Jews for Marriage Equality, who helped us spread the news to Southern California, to Joy Silver for being excited enough to come all the way from Santa Fe, and to Maya, Trina, and Liam, and all at Let California Ring for being such an inspiration.

--

Kerrick Lucker
Office Manager
Chochmat HaLev

“Ever since happiness heard your name, it has been running through the streets trying to find you.”
-Hafiz

New England is Winning

The new year in New Hampshire brought unprecedented amounts of snow, an unprecedented winning streak for the Patriots and the implementation of a new civil union law.

New England is now winning with the number of states that extend rights and benefits to LGBT couples. My home state joins the ranks of Vermont, Connecticut and Massachusetts. (New Jersey is not in New England).

When I was home for the Christmas holiday, I got to talking about the new law with my father who works in the State Attorney General’s office.

The good news, he said, is that the law is simply defined. It basically says that couples entering in to a civil union have the same benefits and protections as a married couple. The bad news is that because it is so simply defined there are a lot of wrinkles that still need ironing out. For instance, it doesn’t tell government agencies how to implement the law, whether nonresidents can apply, whether California’s domestic partnerships will be honored, and on and on and on.

While they’ve gained significant gains with civil unions, New Hampshire families will continue to have to struggle with a second-class status until they have full marriage. It’s possible the full extent of civil unions won’t be known until it’s fully tested in the courts. But unlike their neighbors Vermont and Massachusetts, there was no strong opposition to the new law so who knows how long it will take.

The New Hampshire Legislature could have solved a lot of frustration by going the way of Massachusetts, as only marriage will allow families to live out their hopes and dreams and give them the respect they deserve.

New Hampshire might not be on the ball with marriage, but at least they can say they have an unbeatable football team.

Hello, 2008

State of the movement for the freedom to marry:

In New Hampshire, laws went into effect on the 1st granting lesbian and gay couples civil unions.

In Oregon, progress on civil unions is being held up in the courts.

And here in California, we’re still pressing ahead, opening hearts and minds and finding new supporters.

Things can be great in 2008!

Let California Ring T-Shirts

Support the campaign, and look great, too!

Buy a T-shirt.

Becoming a Citizen

Merelin, Los Angeles

After waiting 20 long years, and going through a difficult process, I am finally a U.S. Citizen. It's a huge accomplishment in my family since I'm only the second to become a U.S. citizen. My parents immigrated to this country to give me the opportunity of two things; a college education and protection under the legal rights of citizenship status. So I am truly grateful for being able to fulfill that American dream that most of us immigrants strive for and that few succeed achieving.

As non-citizens, we tend to live in fear and we are limited to certain rights and self-expression just like our LGBT community. So I am excited to finally be able to have that freedom to realize my own hopes and dreams. I look forward to the day when our LGBT community can share that same equal choice of realizing their own hopes and dreams.

We can create change and build a powerful community when we stand together.

Merelin Giron
Straight ally, Let California Ring Field Organizer

Who needs a gift when you can give the gift of equality?

Toby, Sacramento

Happy Birthday to ME! OK, I admit, opening presents is cool. But when I thought about it, I realized that once the guests had gone home, and the cake was just a memory, that presents wouldn't mean anything compared to the love and support of all my friends and family who came to my party. And if I really thought about what I wanted more than anything, it was to have the freedom to marry the person I love! So I decided that this year I would have a "Let California Ring BIRTHDAY House Party"!

I've been so inspired by the Let California Ring Campaign. If you haven't seen the video, it's a must. It still makes me cry (well, almost) every time I see it. I knew if my friends and family who came to my birthday party could see it, they would understand why all I wanted them to bring to the party was their love and support and willingness to hear this message. Not a gift, or a bag of chips, but a checkbook. Tomorrow is my party, and I can't wait! Dozens of people are coming, and I bet every one of them will agree to help the campaign in some way: as a volunteer, as a donor, or by hosting a house party of their own. I'll let you know how it goes!

Let California Ring hits MySpace!

Check us out:
http://www.myspace.com/letcaliforniaring

Add us as your friend.
Forward us to all your friends.
Add us to your favorites.
Leave comments.

Come and friend us!

What do a married straight woman from Los Angeles and a single gay man from San Francisco have in common?

More than you might think.

We are both proud members of Let California Ring, and we're committed to securing the freedom to marry for all our gay and lesbian family and friends. But we need your help to do it.

Thalia: As a straight couple considering marriage, Mike and I felt how unfair it would be for us to take advantage of a right that was denied to so many of our gay and lesbian friends. So during our wedding, we pledged to do all we can, as straight allies, to help change the laws that prohibit the freedom to marry. Let California Ring gives us easy tools to carry out that pledge.

Seth: When I came out to my parents years ago, they expressed deep sadness that I would not be able to marry and have a family like my straight sister. While they still love me unconditionally, I have the power with this campaign to create a world where every parent can feel that all their children will have the same opportunities to realize their hopes and dreams. What happens in California has a ripple effect across the country.

We both remember February 12, 2004: the day when many people descended upon San Francisco's City Hall with the belief that they could finally marry the person they love. We were heartbroken when these hopes were shattered.

Today, nearly four years later, there are more Californians than ever who support the freedom to marry -- yet there are millions of Californians who still haven't voiced support for the freedom of gay and lesbian people to marry.

That's where supporters like us come in. We are the change-makers; we are the people with the power to bring about a tipping point in California. And to make a difference, all is takes is a few moments of our time to share the things that bond us together as fellow human beings -- a desire to love, to be loved, and to have our love recognized in an equal and dignified way.

Don't we owe this to our friends, to our family and to ourselves?

We haven't a moment to lose. If you haven't already, please add your name to the state-wide effort that's building support for the freedom to marry and pledge to reach out to the people in your life. You can also download talking points to help get these important conversations started.

Individually, we have a lot of power -- more power than you might think.

Thanks for reading,

Seth Kilbourn and Thalia Zepatos
Let California Ring Executive Committee

We're Well on Our Way

A few months ago we—you and I and countless other allies—launched the largest visibility campaign ever attempted to open hearts and minds about the freedom to marry in California. We started with a simple goal: for supporters like you to have conversations with the people you know.

Having these face-to-face conversations can be the most powerful way to reach the millions of people who still haven’t stood up for the freedom of gay and lesbian couples to marry—simply because they haven't heard from the people behind our fight. That’s why we are committed to making it as easy as possible for people like you to have these history-making conversations.

•Thousands of supporters have bought a Let California Ring “ring of support” to wear on their finger, necklace, or key chain to use as a conversation starter. Get yours here.

•We’re running a television ad that puts viewers in the shoes of so many gay and lesbian couples who are prevented from marrying the person they love. Watch it here.

•Our campaign video, “Let California Ring,” has opened thousands of hearts and minds by sharing the personal stories, heartfelt reflections and inspiring perspectives of LGBT couples, their families, and their friends. Watch it now and send it to your friends.

In a few short months, over 26,000 Californians have pledged their support for the freedom to marry. And though we have a long way to go toward reaching our goal —a California that supports every gay, lesbian, transgender and bisexual person’s freedom to marry the person they love—we’re well on our way.

Together, we can keep the momentum going. The first step: if you haven’t already, sign the pledge and say “I do” to having conversations with your friends and family. You can also host a house party or join the MyOneHundred challenge programand commit to having conversations with one hundred people in your personal network. Remember, these conversations are the lynchpin for our campaign, so for those of you already having them, keep it up!

Thanks for all that you’re doing. Each action you take brings us one step closer to a California where everyone is treated with honor, dignity and respect. I feel privileged to be involved with all of you—fighting so fiercely—to give gay and lesbian couples the freedom to marry the person they love. Thanks for reading,

Geoff Kors
Equality California Institute

26,000

They’re everywhere. The people who support the freedom to marry are your friends, your neighbors, colleagues and loved ones. We're pleased to announce that as of today, Let California Ring officially has 26,000 supporters for the freedom to marry.

In the coming months we hope to add thousands more names to our list of supporters, but we couldn’t do it without the support of fair-minded Californians (like you). Thank you for helping us reach this amazing milestone.

We’ll keep you posted of our joint successes here, so please check in again soon.

Thanksgiving dinner conversation…

Here we are again, gathering with family and friends for good food and to reflect on the things we’re thankful for. Of course, gathering with family also brings up the reality for many families who can’t easily talk about and share their lives and loves.

This year, I’m particularly grateful for the thousands of passionate people trying to change that reality by joining the Let California Ring campaign – many of whom are planning to have one of those important heart-to-heart conversations this Thanksgiving.

As Sam and Julia Thoron, two PFLAG parents, write:

"Our daughter, Liz, is gay and unlike her brothers, does not have the freedom to marry the love of her life. Our gratitude and our unqualified support of Liz and her partner, Lisa, are not enough to create a world in which they are free to marry. This Thanksgiving we want to give them something more. We want to have them hope and we need your help!

As you reflect on the things you’re thankful for this Thanksgiving, keep hope in your heart. The one-on-one conversations you have this holiday are one of the most powerful ways to educate people, not just about the rights and benefits of marriage, but also about the freedom.

Liz and Lisa, like so many sons and daughters and their partners across the country, want the freedom to celebrate their love and commitment with the same support, understanding, and acceptance that their brothers and sisters enjoy. Don’t they deserve this?"

I hope that you’ll consider having these important conversations at your next gathering. We’ll provide with your very own Thanksgiving kit. It includes conversation starters, turkey placemats (for the kids at your gathering) and giving thanks cards (with some prompts to talk about thanks and hope). And if you don’t already have our ring, get one and wear it as a sign of your support. We hope you’ll keep it until the day that everyone has the freedom to marry the person they love.

Thanks for reading. Best wishes to you and your family this Thanksgiving.

Geoff Kors
Executive Director

Equality California Institute

Marriage Equality USA new featured partner!

Marriage Equality USA (MEUSA) is a special part of the Let California Ring coalition. An all volunteer organization, members of MEUSA continue to push for the freedom to marry all across California.

With an exceptional presence is rural pockets of the state, MEUSA regularly works to stir up media coverage and increase visibility representing the great depth and breath of the California LGBTQI and allied community. In part because of their incredible volunteer Outreach Director leadership system, MEUSA maintains focus on often underrepresented communities and neighborhoods.

Specialized Outreach Directors are centered around: African Americans, straight allies, Asian Pacific Islanders, Bi-National families & Immigration, Children of one or more LGBTI parents, communities of faith, people with disabilities, Latino/as, LGBTI Parents, veterans and the military, Native Americans, seniors, transgender people, employment, and youth.

In addition to MEUSA’s regular series of speaking engagements and annual events,
MEUSA members, volunteer outreach directors and leaders have begun to stand side-by-side with us at Let California Ring house parties. Many MEUSA leaders are setting dates for their own Let California Ring house parties today!

Thank you Marriage Equality USA for all that you have done and continue to do on behalf of LGBT families --- all in your “free time” no less!

Vaishalee Blogs about Let California Ring Media Trainings

Last week I met a woman named Cindy at spokesperson training for Let California Ring in the San Gabriel Valley. She and her partner Stacey have created a loving home for their son, and they’re active at church. In fact, Stacey is in seminary school to become a chaplain. Next week, Cindy will be publishing a guest column for the Pasadena Weekly about what Thanksgiving means to her - a time for family and togetherness but at a time when her family still isn’t recognized. It’s an important story to tell.

But even if you never work with the media, you’re still a spokesperson when you talk to your friends, family, co-workers and neighbors about the freedom to marry and why it’s important to you. Attend a spokesperson training conducted by the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) and gain the tools to effectively tell your story, learn proven messages to open hearts and minds and practice staying on message.

Monday, Dec. 3rd: San Jose
Tuesday, Dec. 4^th: Oakland
Wednesday, Dec. 5^th: San Francisco
Thursday, Dec. 13th: San Diego
Sunday, Dec 16^th: LA
Thursday, Dec. 20^th: Santa Barbara

For details, please contact:
Vaishalee Raja
323-634-2045
raja@glaad.org
Associate Director of Media Field Strategy
GLAAD

What I'm doing this Thanksgiving

Welcome commentary by Trina Olson, Equality California Institute Field Director

Our family is coming for Thanksgiving.

To re-iterate, not just my family, our family. My mom and dad are flying in from Minnesota the day before Thanksgiving. My partner’s mom, little sister, and little sister’s fiancée are all piling into one car, leaving Arizona Wednesday after dinner, and driving all night through to get to us by Thanksgiving morning.

Did I mention that not only are 5 of our family members coming, they are all staying in our house? I think that means we get the air mattress.

Let me take this opportunity to mention that our families are amazing. That is to say, they consistently show up for us. When my partner had her second foot surgery last year, they came in shifts, taking care of her one week at a time. Whenever I move, (which feels like constantly) they are packing all of the breakables right along side me. Like I said; they show up.

This year the excitement towards Thanksgiving has been building and building. It’s always a landmark moment when, in your mid-20s, you get to host the big holiday gathering. With friends included we’re planning for 13 at the table. Hosting Thanksgiving also comes with a lot of pressure (most of it self-imposed). Will everyone like the menu? Who should we sit next to whom? How on earth do we keep food warm for 13 people using just one oven? But I have to say, despite my partner’s consternation, I like worrying about the little stuff. Because sometimes worrying about the big stuff is too hard.

This Thanksgiving will be a family gathering in every sense. Because my family and friends, well, they show up. Sitting together, with the mashed potatoes on the table and the dessert patiently waiting in the wings, I’m going to thank my family for traveling so far for so long to come be with us. Then I am going to ask our guests to show up for us one more time --- right there at the table, with a captive audience of 12, I’m going to ask them to tell everyone about how it affects them that Ember and I are not free to marry. It may not be the typical Thanksgiving blessing, but I truly believe that it is the most important step we can take together in order to eventually end up at an even bigger family gathering.

One that I have to tell you, I am even more excited to plan!

San Diego Kicks Off Their “Get Engaged by Valentine’s Day!” Campaign

It is an exciting time to be advocating for the freedom to marry in San Diego! This week the San Diego LGBT Community Center’s Marriage Equality and Education Project kicked off our “Get Engaged by Valentine’s Day!” campaign. During this campaign our goal is to have 40 Freedom to Marry Engagements by Feb. 14, 2008! These Engagements will introduce San Diegans to Let California Ring, a public education campaign that is working to create a California where two people in a committed, trusting and loving relationship deserve the recognition and respect that only comes with marriage.

This past week we had the pleasure of hosting our first kick-off in a living room that was buzzing with energy and enthusiasm about the freedom to marry. Many wonderful stories were shared over the course of the evening, including two women who had a wedding at the end of September and told us about their special day with tears in their eyes, as well as a mother who spoke passionately about how much she loved her lesbian daughter and wanted her to have an equal chance to fulfill her hopes and dreams.

It was truly a magical night and an amazing start to our campaign! I am looking forward to spending the next few months in living rooms across San Diego hearing more touching stories and connecting with people about this issue.

If you are interested in hosting or attending a San Diego Freedom to Marry Engagement, please contact Kristi Shaw, San Diego LGBT Community Center’s Marriage Equality and Education Project Coordinator at (619) 692-2077, ext. 206 or kshaw@thecentersd.org.

CJ from San Francisco watches the Ad

Our good friend CJ in San Francisco, house party host, just sent us this note about about the first time she saw the ad...

You know me. I'm your waitress during Sunday morning brunch. I sit in the second row of your math class. I'm that girl with big sunglasses reading a book while waiting for the bus. Just your average mid-twenties quasi-student living the single life in San Francisco. You know me.

But this isn't about me. It's about equality. As I trot through my daily routines and fantasize about what the future may bring, sure I wonder if I'll fall in love and get married. Or maybe I'll fall in love and not get married, but that is a choice I will make when the time comes. Because I have a choice. I'm straight.

The emotions that welled up inside of me the first time I watched the "Garden Wedding" ad left me feeling gutted. I felt sorrow, rage, and guilt. Mostly guilt. And rage.

I immediately identified with the bride, and felt for her as everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong. I winced as her heel broke and my stomach dropped when she fell to the ground. Watching her look to her groom for help only to see him held back broke my heart even more. Then, when words appear on the screen and the caption spells out that gay and lesbian couples are prevented from marrying, the concept hit me so hard, at first I was too shocked to have a reaction. As I grappled with the message of the ad, and the reality of what gays and lesbians go through when trying to get married, I became increasingly infuriated. I was outraged that so many people are not able to marry the person they love because it is illegal. I was pissed at the concept of domestic partnership because it is different from marriage, and different is NOT equal. Marriage is known throughout our culture as a higher form of commitment. Commitment to the person, the relationship and the life they promise to lead together. I can feel myself getting more enraged as I'm writing this!

Thinking about the unfairness of it all, I remember the father of the bride patting his daughter's hand just after she breaks her shoe. I have to sit back in my chair and take a deep breath. I remind myself that I can get married. It's my choice. A choice I'm legally able to make. Relief sweeps over me as I recognize that I have the choice, and then comes the guilt. Guilt because I know I have something that others do not have. And I've taken it for granted! What about the obstacles the bride had to face? The obstacles that I empathized with and got me choked me up? So she broke her heel, her hair was messed up, a door jam, and a grabby flower girl? These hindrances are so small compared to the difficulties gays and lesbians face. My guilt compounds as I recognize that I'm wearing the shoes of the "Haves" and I'm looking directly into the eyes and hearts of the "Have Nots" ... and I'm determined to fight for this issue until we all have the right to marry the one we love. So in a way, this is about me. And it's about you too. But mainly, it's about equality. This is about all of us joining together to achieve marriage equality for everyone.

"Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are." - Benjamin Franklin.