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Becoming a Citizen

Merelin, Los Angeles

After waiting 20 long years, and going through a difficult process, I am finally a U.S. Citizen. It's a huge accomplishment in my family since I'm only the second to become a U.S. citizen. My parents immigrated to this country to give me the opportunity of two things; a college education and protection under the legal rights of citizenship status. So I am truly grateful for being able to fulfill that American dream that most of us immigrants strive for and that few succeed achieving.

As non-citizens, we tend to live in fear and we are limited to certain rights and self-expression just like our LGBT community. So I am excited to finally be able to have that freedom to realize my own hopes and dreams. I look forward to the day when our LGBT community can share that same equal choice of realizing their own hopes and dreams.

We can create change and build a powerful community when we stand together.

Merelin Giron
Straight ally, Let California Ring Field Organizer

Who needs a gift when you can give the gift of equality?

Toby, Sacramento

Happy Birthday to ME! OK, I admit, opening presents is cool. But when I thought about it, I realized that once the guests had gone home, and the cake was just a memory, that presents wouldn't mean anything compared to the love and support of all my friends and family who came to my party. And if I really thought about what I wanted more than anything, it was to have the freedom to marry the person I love! So I decided that this year I would have a "Let California Ring BIRTHDAY House Party"!

I've been so inspired by the Let California Ring Campaign. If you haven't seen the video, it's a must. It still makes me cry (well, almost) every time I see it. I knew if my friends and family who came to my birthday party could see it, they would understand why all I wanted them to bring to the party was their love and support and willingness to hear this message. Not a gift, or a bag of chips, but a checkbook. Tomorrow is my party, and I can't wait! Dozens of people are coming, and I bet every one of them will agree to help the campaign in some way: as a volunteer, as a donor, or by hosting a house party of their own. I'll let you know how it goes!

Let California Ring hits MySpace!

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What do a married straight woman from Los Angeles and a single gay man from San Francisco have in common?

More than you might think.

We are both proud members of Let California Ring, and we're committed to securing the freedom to marry for all our gay and lesbian family and friends. But we need your help to do it.

Thalia: As a straight couple considering marriage, Mike and I felt how unfair it would be for us to take advantage of a right that was denied to so many of our gay and lesbian friends. So during our wedding, we pledged to do all we can, as straight allies, to help change the laws that prohibit the freedom to marry. Let California Ring gives us easy tools to carry out that pledge.

Seth: When I came out to my parents years ago, they expressed deep sadness that I would not be able to marry and have a family like my straight sister. While they still love me unconditionally, I have the power with this campaign to create a world where every parent can feel that all their children will have the same opportunities to realize their hopes and dreams. What happens in California has a ripple effect across the country.

We both remember February 12, 2004: the day when many people descended upon San Francisco's City Hall with the belief that they could finally marry the person they love. We were heartbroken when these hopes were shattered.

Today, nearly four years later, there are more Californians than ever who support the freedom to marry -- yet there are millions of Californians who still haven't voiced support for the freedom of gay and lesbian people to marry.

That's where supporters like us come in. We are the change-makers; we are the people with the power to bring about a tipping point in California. And to make a difference, all is takes is a few moments of our time to share the things that bond us together as fellow human beings -- a desire to love, to be loved, and to have our love recognized in an equal and dignified way.

Don't we owe this to our friends, to our family and to ourselves?

We haven't a moment to lose. If you haven't already, please add your name to the state-wide effort that's building support for the freedom to marry and pledge to reach out to the people in your life. You can also download talking points to help get these important conversations started.

Individually, we have a lot of power -- more power than you might think.

Thanks for reading,

Seth Kilbourn and Thalia Zepatos
Let California Ring Executive Committee

We're Well on Our Way

A few months ago we—you and I and countless other allies—launched the largest visibility campaign ever attempted to open hearts and minds about the freedom to marry in California. We started with a simple goal: for supporters like you to have conversations with the people you know.

Having these face-to-face conversations can be the most powerful way to reach the millions of people who still haven’t stood up for the freedom of gay and lesbian couples to marry—simply because they haven't heard from the people behind our fight. That’s why we are committed to making it as easy as possible for people like you to have these history-making conversations.

•Thousands of supporters have bought a Let California Ring “ring of support” to wear on their finger, necklace, or key chain to use as a conversation starter. Get yours here.

•We’re running a television ad that puts viewers in the shoes of so many gay and lesbian couples who are prevented from marrying the person they love. Watch it here.

•Our campaign video, “Let California Ring,” has opened thousands of hearts and minds by sharing the personal stories, heartfelt reflections and inspiring perspectives of LGBT couples, their families, and their friends. Watch it now and send it to your friends.

In a few short months, over 26,000 Californians have pledged their support for the freedom to marry. And though we have a long way to go toward reaching our goal —a California that supports every gay, lesbian, transgender and bisexual person’s freedom to marry the person they love—we’re well on our way.

Together, we can keep the momentum going. The first step: if you haven’t already, sign the pledge and say “I do” to having conversations with your friends and family. You can also host a house party or join the MyOneHundred challenge programand commit to having conversations with one hundred people in your personal network. Remember, these conversations are the lynchpin for our campaign, so for those of you already having them, keep it up!

Thanks for all that you’re doing. Each action you take brings us one step closer to a California where everyone is treated with honor, dignity and respect. I feel privileged to be involved with all of you—fighting so fiercely—to give gay and lesbian couples the freedom to marry the person they love. Thanks for reading,

Geoff Kors
Equality California Institute

26,000

They’re everywhere. The people who support the freedom to marry are your friends, your neighbors, colleagues and loved ones. We're pleased to announce that as of today, Let California Ring officially has 26,000 supporters for the freedom to marry.

In the coming months we hope to add thousands more names to our list of supporters, but we couldn’t do it without the support of fair-minded Californians (like you). Thank you for helping us reach this amazing milestone.

We’ll keep you posted of our joint successes here, so please check in again soon.

Thanksgiving dinner conversation…

Here we are again, gathering with family and friends for good food and to reflect on the things we’re thankful for. Of course, gathering with family also brings up the reality for many families who can’t easily talk about and share their lives and loves.

This year, I’m particularly grateful for the thousands of passionate people trying to change that reality by joining the Let California Ring campaign – many of whom are planning to have one of those important heart-to-heart conversations this Thanksgiving.

As Sam and Julia Thoron, two PFLAG parents, write:

"Our daughter, Liz, is gay and unlike her brothers, does not have the freedom to marry the love of her life. Our gratitude and our unqualified support of Liz and her partner, Lisa, are not enough to create a world in which they are free to marry. This Thanksgiving we want to give them something more. We want to have them hope and we need your help!

As you reflect on the things you’re thankful for this Thanksgiving, keep hope in your heart. The one-on-one conversations you have this holiday are one of the most powerful ways to educate people, not just about the rights and benefits of marriage, but also about the freedom.

Liz and Lisa, like so many sons and daughters and their partners across the country, want the freedom to celebrate their love and commitment with the same support, understanding, and acceptance that their brothers and sisters enjoy. Don’t they deserve this?"

I hope that you’ll consider having these important conversations at your next gathering. We’ll provide with your very own Thanksgiving kit. It includes conversation starters, turkey placemats (for the kids at your gathering) and giving thanks cards (with some prompts to talk about thanks and hope). And if you don’t already have our ring, get one and wear it as a sign of your support. We hope you’ll keep it until the day that everyone has the freedom to marry the person they love.

Thanks for reading. Best wishes to you and your family this Thanksgiving.

Geoff Kors
Executive Director

Equality California Institute

Marriage Equality USA new featured partner!

Marriage Equality USA (MEUSA) is a special part of the Let California Ring coalition. An all volunteer organization, members of MEUSA continue to push for the freedom to marry all across California.

With an exceptional presence is rural pockets of the state, MEUSA regularly works to stir up media coverage and increase visibility representing the great depth and breath of the California LGBTQI and allied community. In part because of their incredible volunteer Outreach Director leadership system, MEUSA maintains focus on often underrepresented communities and neighborhoods.

Specialized Outreach Directors are centered around: African Americans, straight allies, Asian Pacific Islanders, Bi-National families & Immigration, Children of one or more LGBTI parents, communities of faith, people with disabilities, Latino/as, LGBTI Parents, veterans and the military, Native Americans, seniors, transgender people, employment, and youth.

In addition to MEUSA’s regular series of speaking engagements and annual events,
MEUSA members, volunteer outreach directors and leaders have begun to stand side-by-side with us at Let California Ring house parties. Many MEUSA leaders are setting dates for their own Let California Ring house parties today!

Thank you Marriage Equality USA for all that you have done and continue to do on behalf of LGBT families --- all in your “free time” no less!

Vaishalee Blogs about Let California Ring Media Trainings

Last week I met a woman named Cindy at spokesperson training for Let California Ring in the San Gabriel Valley. She and her partner Stacey have created a loving home for their son, and they’re active at church. In fact, Stacey is in seminary school to become a chaplain. Next week, Cindy will be publishing a guest column for the Pasadena Weekly about what Thanksgiving means to her - a time for family and togetherness but at a time when her family still isn’t recognized. It’s an important story to tell.

But even if you never work with the media, you’re still a spokesperson when you talk to your friends, family, co-workers and neighbors about the freedom to marry and why it’s important to you. Attend a spokesperson training conducted by the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) and gain the tools to effectively tell your story, learn proven messages to open hearts and minds and practice staying on message.

Monday, Dec. 3rd: San Jose
Tuesday, Dec. 4^th: Oakland
Wednesday, Dec. 5^th: San Francisco
Thursday, Dec. 13th: San Diego
Sunday, Dec 16^th: LA
Thursday, Dec. 20^th: Santa Barbara

For details, please contact:
Vaishalee Raja
323-634-2045
raja@glaad.org
Associate Director of Media Field Strategy
GLAAD

What I'm doing this Thanksgiving

Welcome commentary by Trina Olson, Equality California Institute Field Director

Our family is coming for Thanksgiving.

To re-iterate, not just my family, our family. My mom and dad are flying in from Minnesota the day before Thanksgiving. My partner’s mom, little sister, and little sister’s fiancée are all piling into one car, leaving Arizona Wednesday after dinner, and driving all night through to get to us by Thanksgiving morning.

Did I mention that not only are 5 of our family members coming, they are all staying in our house? I think that means we get the air mattress.

Let me take this opportunity to mention that our families are amazing. That is to say, they consistently show up for us. When my partner had her second foot surgery last year, they came in shifts, taking care of her one week at a time. Whenever I move, (which feels like constantly) they are packing all of the breakables right along side me. Like I said; they show up.

This year the excitement towards Thanksgiving has been building and building. It’s always a landmark moment when, in your mid-20s, you get to host the big holiday gathering. With friends included we’re planning for 13 at the table. Hosting Thanksgiving also comes with a lot of pressure (most of it self-imposed). Will everyone like the menu? Who should we sit next to whom? How on earth do we keep food warm for 13 people using just one oven? But I have to say, despite my partner’s consternation, I like worrying about the little stuff. Because sometimes worrying about the big stuff is too hard.

This Thanksgiving will be a family gathering in every sense. Because my family and friends, well, they show up. Sitting together, with the mashed potatoes on the table and the dessert patiently waiting in the wings, I’m going to thank my family for traveling so far for so long to come be with us. Then I am going to ask our guests to show up for us one more time --- right there at the table, with a captive audience of 12, I’m going to ask them to tell everyone about how it affects them that Ember and I are not free to marry. It may not be the typical Thanksgiving blessing, but I truly believe that it is the most important step we can take together in order to eventually end up at an even bigger family gathering.

One that I have to tell you, I am even more excited to plan!

San Diego Kicks Off Their “Get Engaged by Valentine’s Day!” Campaign

It is an exciting time to be advocating for the freedom to marry in San Diego! This week the San Diego LGBT Community Center’s Marriage Equality and Education Project kicked off our “Get Engaged by Valentine’s Day!” campaign. During this campaign our goal is to have 40 Freedom to Marry Engagements by Feb. 14, 2008! These Engagements will introduce San Diegans to Let California Ring, a public education campaign that is working to create a California where two people in a committed, trusting and loving relationship deserve the recognition and respect that only comes with marriage.

This past week we had the pleasure of hosting our first kick-off in a living room that was buzzing with energy and enthusiasm about the freedom to marry. Many wonderful stories were shared over the course of the evening, including two women who had a wedding at the end of September and told us about their special day with tears in their eyes, as well as a mother who spoke passionately about how much she loved her lesbian daughter and wanted her to have an equal chance to fulfill her hopes and dreams.

It was truly a magical night and an amazing start to our campaign! I am looking forward to spending the next few months in living rooms across San Diego hearing more touching stories and connecting with people about this issue.

If you are interested in hosting or attending a San Diego Freedom to Marry Engagement, please contact Kristi Shaw, San Diego LGBT Community Center’s Marriage Equality and Education Project Coordinator at (619) 692-2077, ext. 206 or kshaw@thecentersd.org.

CJ from San Francisco watches the Ad

Our good friend CJ in San Francisco, house party host, just sent us this note about about the first time she saw the ad...

You know me. I'm your waitress during Sunday morning brunch. I sit in the second row of your math class. I'm that girl with big sunglasses reading a book while waiting for the bus. Just your average mid-twenties quasi-student living the single life in San Francisco. You know me.

But this isn't about me. It's about equality. As I trot through my daily routines and fantasize about what the future may bring, sure I wonder if I'll fall in love and get married. Or maybe I'll fall in love and not get married, but that is a choice I will make when the time comes. Because I have a choice. I'm straight.

The emotions that welled up inside of me the first time I watched the "Garden Wedding" ad left me feeling gutted. I felt sorrow, rage, and guilt. Mostly guilt. And rage.

I immediately identified with the bride, and felt for her as everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong. I winced as her heel broke and my stomach dropped when she fell to the ground. Watching her look to her groom for help only to see him held back broke my heart even more. Then, when words appear on the screen and the caption spells out that gay and lesbian couples are prevented from marrying, the concept hit me so hard, at first I was too shocked to have a reaction. As I grappled with the message of the ad, and the reality of what gays and lesbians go through when trying to get married, I became increasingly infuriated. I was outraged that so many people are not able to marry the person they love because it is illegal. I was pissed at the concept of domestic partnership because it is different from marriage, and different is NOT equal. Marriage is known throughout our culture as a higher form of commitment. Commitment to the person, the relationship and the life they promise to lead together. I can feel myself getting more enraged as I'm writing this!

Thinking about the unfairness of it all, I remember the father of the bride patting his daughter's hand just after she breaks her shoe. I have to sit back in my chair and take a deep breath. I remind myself that I can get married. It's my choice. A choice I'm legally able to make. Relief sweeps over me as I recognize that I have the choice, and then comes the guilt. Guilt because I know I have something that others do not have. And I've taken it for granted! What about the obstacles the bride had to face? The obstacles that I empathized with and got me choked me up? So she broke her heel, her hair was messed up, a door jam, and a grabby flower girl? These hindrances are so small compared to the difficulties gays and lesbians face. My guilt compounds as I recognize that I'm wearing the shoes of the "Haves" and I'm looking directly into the eyes and hearts of the "Have Nots" ... and I'm determined to fight for this issue until we all have the right to marry the one we love. So in a way, this is about me. And it's about you too. But mainly, it's about equality. This is about all of us joining together to achieve marriage equality for everyone.

"Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are." - Benjamin Franklin.

Check out this story on LGBT families.

"Same-sex couples raising children less likely to be white, wealthy."


From The San Francisco Chronicle.

Check out Let California Ring on the Huffington Post!

Evan Wolfson blogs about the campaign in "Let California Ring: Talking About Change Makes It."

"It's striking how many non-gay people have never really been invited to put themselves in another's place. Left on their own, they too often treat their view or vote on ending marriage discrimination as kind of a "freebie" that has no real-life consequences to couples, kids, and even the gay people they say they want to be fair to. Those of us who care owe it to the fair-minded people we know to ask them to get engaged."

Read the post.

Our Stories

Is there anything as moving as a love story? Stories about real people who long to live and love—with the support, understanding and celebration of everyone around them. That's what Let California Ring is all about: sharing love stories.

Check out the "Our Stories" section of the website.

Here’s a sample:

I'll Be There…
Dia & Jessica, San Francisco

To look at them together and think, I, too, can have a relationship like that. I can have that strong a love, 'cause man-oh-man, those two are crazy about each other...


You have a story to tell. Is it about realizing your hopes and dreams by getting married? Is it about allowing people the choice, the freedom to get married? Is it about wanting to be treated fairly? Why do you support the freedom to marry? We want to hear your love story. Tell us your story and encourage your friends, family, and neighbors down the street to do the same.

Sacramento Kickoff!!

What an amazing event!

Standing room only, interactive and enthusiastic guests, and scrumptious snacks! Coalition members included: MEUSA and EQCAI. Staff from EQCA attended including Alice, Ali, Kendra, and me. MEUSA representitives were Lysa and Christine. Lester from the Sacramento Gay & Lesbian center spoke, and board member Bill was also present.

Kendra kicked it all off with a T-shirt auction, which was fun and entertaining. The shirt went for $25. You can purchase these for $27. at www.letcaliforniaring.org. We talked about where the campaign came from, where it was going, and how we would get there. Then we looked at a clip that showed everyday Californians talking about the importance of the freedom to marry. "Marriage is in the Heart!" We also took a look at the TV commercial, and talked about how and why we thought it would be very effective.

Then I asked for your Time, Treasure, and Talent. You helped us raise over $2000., schedule 4 new House Parties, and identify 11 people to help with the My100 program! Great Job! Thank you to everyone who helped put on this fantastic kickoff!

From San Diego

As National Coming Out Day was yesterday, it was a perfect day and evening to spend with folks in a living room in the hills of La Jolla talking about the freedom to marry. I was lucky enough to be in San Diego this week working with folks from the SD LGBT Community Center (Delores Jacobs, Kristi Shaw and Caroline Dessert) talking about how we kick Let CA Ring into high gear in SD and build upon the incredible momentum and the good will that has followed since Mayor Sanders' personal epiphany resulting in his vocal and public support for the freedom to marry.

I've had great meetings--breakfast, lunch and dinner--with a wide range of folks from EQCAI Board Members, to former and current ACLU staff to Center volunteers and leaders, as well as speaking at the Center's Public Policy Cmte meeting.

I love San Diego and San Diegans, in particular. I have to tell you, while the stereotype still exists that this town (and County) is conservative and folks (not these folks!) bemoan how hard it is to do progressive organizing here - I don't buy it, nor has it been my experience.

Check out the great press we received for Let CA Ring in San Diego at www.10news.com, and get involved by hosting a house party or get trained to be a speaker. We need you and everyone you know learning how to tell your story and then getting out in the world and telling everyone you know why you support the freedom to marry and helping them find their story and sign on as a supporter.


Happy Coming Out Week!

Sarah

Watch the Ad

I believe in the freedom to marry because...

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As someone who's been working as a volunteer or paid staff in the LGBT and progressive community for nearly 15 years, there are many reasons I choose to put my time, talent and treasure into working for the freedom to marry in California. I do it because it's an opportunity to build power for our community. I do it because--while we may not all agree about the actual institution of marriage--the issue is a bell weather topic for the American population. And as such, confronting the issue of the freedom to marry gives us a chance to combat basic homophobia and transphobia. Because, as I've discovered over the past months, supporting the freedom to marry is a simple proposition: do you believe that love is love is love?

I do, but I didn't always think our community should be spending so much time, energy and resources on it. And, while there are many issues that are as or more important to the LGBT community and our allies, I have had a personal transformation about how I come to the freedom to marry work. I used to come to it from a purely political place. And now, it's personal. And not just personal because I believe that my love for my partner is equal to my sister's love for her husband.

In a writing exercise that was facilitated by one of the Let CA Ring organizers, I realized that I cared about securing the freedom to marry for all because of my Mom.

As the daughter of a public school teacher, my Mom always taught me that as a people, even if we disagreed about issues, everyone deserved the opportunity to realize their hopes and dreams and be treated fairly. It wasn't until this little writing exercise that I realized that my Mom deserves that same opportunity.

When I came out to her at 19 (she had been asking me if I was a lesbian since I was 14 so this was no big shock!), her first response was that of sadness and worry while she exclaimed, "You won't be able to build the life you've always dreamed - getting married, having kids, etc." Now, this was the Mom who always reminded me that she had gay and lesbian friends long before I was even thought of. This was the woman who's mother actively fought for the ERA and continued her active involvement in progressive organizing until she died. My coming out was in no way the end of the world for my family or a day to be mourned in infamy. In fact, just the opposite. My folks and my sister, my grandparents and my godparents were supportive and joyful that I finally felt free to be me.

But back to the moment of sadness and worry. It wasn't until just the other day that I realized that precisely because I don't have the freedom to marry is what brought my Mom (and I'm sure countless others) to the point where her love and joy for me came in direct conflict with what she knew to be a barrier in her own hopes and dreams for her daughter and herself.

Not only do two people in a loving, trusted relationship deserve the honor and support that comes with marriage, so does my Mom. She deserves to be treated with the same honor and support from her friends and colleagues when she's recounting stories about my life with my partner as when she's telling tales about my sister and her husband.

Excluding someone from marriage is like excluding them from being part of a family. I have a great family and a great Mom. I believe in the freedom to marry because she taught me that people should be able to have different beliefs and still be treated fairly. And, because she deserves to have 2 girls, not just 1, who get to realize their hopes and dreams of a fairy tale wedding and a fairly tale life!

Btw, the photo is of my sister, Katie and her husband Lee (and the best 7 year old nephew EVER) at their wedding this Summer. I of course, got to be bridesmaid. :-)

It's Time to Let California Ring

You meet someone special. You fall in love and vow to spend your lives together. Maybe you want to get married. Yet every day, lesbian and gay people in California are denied the freedom to marry the person they love.

Like many Californians, you want a fair chance to realize your hopes and dreams and you want that for your family friends and neighbors. You probably believe that everyone should be treated fairly and not singled out for exclusion. The Let California Ring campaign is about engaging people like you to talk to other people you know. It's that simple. These conversations-millions of them-will open hearts and minds and build the public support we need to end exclusion of gay and lesbian couples from marriage.

So, welcome to our campaign website, where you can get engaged in Let California Ring. Learn how to have the conversation with people you know about the freedom to marry. Learn more about the campaign and our coalition partners and supporters, check out events happening in your neck of the woods and read stories from real people who talk about why the freedom to marry is important to them - and all of us.

Together we can engage millions of Californians in conversation through Let California Ring to help make our country, and the lives of many lesbian and gay couples and their loved ones, better. The campaign is that big. It's that important. And it starts with you
Please join us today.

Geoff Kors
Executive Director
Equality California Institute